I’ve recently read 2 posts on LinkedIn. #1, a couple’s perspective about celebrating “gratitude” as they were invited and attended the celebration of a dear friend’s wedding. It was a beautiful, heart-felt post about what being invited meant to them, as well as, all the things the experience reminded them to be grateful for.

Beautiful, right?

The second post was about the cost & frustration of the rudeness of people…guests in particular, that RSVP, then don’t show up.

And friends…I have thoughts. I think its time to challenge the way in which we approach choosing & inviting people to be our guests.

Don’t get me wrong, I get it…how many guests you’ll expect sets the tone for venue, spending, and so much more. So I know just how monumental it can feel to get your guest list just right.

But I also recognize that the way we seem to be conditioned to inviting people at all has shifted from the spirit of generous and warm reception.

I always encourage my clients to invite the people who matter. Yet have come to learn how difficult a task that can be for some- how to determine who matters.

So, if you’re stuck starting any guest list, I want you to consider this…start by only writing down the names that follow my “Don’t Care” Questionnaire method.

I think you’ll find drafting your guest list much easier if you start with the names that don’t care what you wear, don’t care what you serve, don’t care what you gift, don’t care what color the napkins are or how they are folded. If you were getting married in a brown paper bag, they would be delighted to celebrate with the same love, energy, and enthusiasm.

Start here…and see how you feel.

When you are inviting the people with substance in your life…I mean really matter. Then should they have to cancel, their absence is felt; not based on the cost of their meal but with an understanding that life happens and some things can’t be avoided. And it likely wasn’t an easy decision to have to bow out in the 9th hour.

Whatever your next celebration, wedding, shower, graduation, or retirement…fill you guest list with the people that spark joy, kindness, community and fellowship; rather than the people that will feel insulted if you don’t invite them.

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